Trigger warning: self destruction. Just kidding. This post is probably a form of self destruction, tho, because I decided to read book jokes and react to them, and tbh, they were all so bad. I can literally, with my two brain cells, make jokes better than these. But I know you’re excited…. no? Ok! Anyways, I found them on Upjoke.com – I do not own them or anything and they’re not a product of my wonderful imagination. So, without further ado, let’s begin now! Allons-y!
Today my son asked, “Can you lend me a bookmark?”
I immediately burst into tears.
12 years old and he doesn’t know my name is Brian.
This one didn’t take the direction I thought it would take – my very basic brain started to believe that the father would be happy that his son is reading a book, at least. It makes me question their family dynamics.
“Daddy, why is that book so big?”
“It’s a long story…” 😀
You couldn’t see it because it’s just a blog post but my eye rolled to the back of my head. This one required actual critical thinking skills.
I’ve got a book in my bathroom that I write my feelings and personal thoughts into while on the toilet.
I call it my diarrhea!
Not a good idea, Brian, now everybody knows your thoughts and feelings because your diarrhea got leaked!
I can’t believe I cringed more at my joke than I did at theirs. Can an asteroid just fall and pull off another K-Pg to save me the embarrassment?
Dear seller, a month ago I ordered and paid for the book “How to scam people online”!Tell me please, when will I receive it?
A book fell on me today. I have my-shelf to blame.
I feel like this is like a classic book community joke. I’ve heard this one so many times at this point that I don’t remember what my actual reaction was when I had first heard it. It’s like when you eat – you’ve always been eating, so you don’t remember what it felt like when you ate for the first time. That’s what this joke is – you’ve known it for so long, it feels like you’ve known it forever.