Hi! I’m not sure if some of you guys noticed, but I had taken a break from book blogging. A long one, at that. My reasons for the break were numerous. And today, I’m going to waffle on about them. So, grab a cup and settle down.
1. I had stopped enjoying book blogging.
Back in early 2020, I had realized that I wasn’t enjoying blogging as much as I used to before. In fact, I had started thinking about deleting my blog, even though I had put a hell of a lot of work in it. I was going to create another blog, I had decided, and it wasn’t going to be related to books. I was gonna talk about personal things on it. And it was gonna be anonymous. But, of course, I didn’t end up deleting it because it felt wrong. I almost had 700 followers on WordPress at that time. And it had taken more than a year to have a community of 700 people who read my content. It’s kind of crazy because it’s a pretty big number. I did create a new anonymous blog and ended up deleting it. And now, I’m feeling excited about book blogging again.
2. I had my final exams.
One of the major reasons behind me not deleting my blog was my finals. I’m super glad that I had my finals scheduled in March and April, so I could take a break from reading and blogging and not feel bad about it. So, that’s what I did. I started feeling refreshed after the break, and I did start reading again after quite a while. I decided to be back once I finished my exams and I did right after they ended. But yeah, it wasn’t as I had planned. I had to take care of certain other things.
3. The state of the world was taking a toll on my mental health
I’ve been open about my mental health struggles on here. I have had a generalized anxiety disorder for a long time and have been experiencing (clinical) depression. Due to the pandemic and the political state of the world, my mental health started deteriorating. Things got so ugly in the month of May and June that I had to address my mental health. When I “get depressed,” I find it hard to do anything, which is a textbook symptom of it, I know, and my body starts hurting (literally). So much as typing a paragraph for a blog post gets tiring. That’s why half of my posts from the last year are either sitting in the trash and the rest are in the drafts.
4. I got diagnosed with endometriosis
These things kind of took place in rapid succession. One night I was kinda down in the dumps, the next morning I woke up with nasty pain in my back and abdomen, and my USG and MRI showed a ruptured cystic structure of 13 cms. I don’t want to bore y’all with the deets, but I was super overwhelmed with the amount of shitty things happening in my life. I was already worried sick about the coronavirus and had to deal with depression. The last thing I needed was another diagnosis for a chronic disease. It kind of left any chances of me being back on the back burner for some time.
5. I got busy with life
Things did start looking up, eventually. Even though I still dealt with depression, and still had endometriosis flare-ups (it’s a chronic illness), a few good things happened too. I talked with some people for an internship who selected me, but I decided to not accept it to focus on my health instead. I got my college results and did well on exams. I started enjoying the books I was reading. I got busy doing that even though I struggled a lot and didn’t always have the energy or motivation. As Leonard Cohen said, “there’s a crack in everything. That’s how light gets in.”
That’s it for today. That’s why I stopped blogging and took a break. I’m going to hope that I’m back, and in my future posts I’m gonna talk about why I’m back, and what I learned during the hiatus. Until then, I hope you have a lot of fun! 🧡 Adios.